Imagine 1,024 monkeys in a contest. The contest is being held to determine which monkey has the best method for achieving heads on coin flips. The winner of the contest gets a lifetime supply of bananas and his or her pick of the eligible monkeys of the opposite (I guess it could be the same) sex. It’s absolute pandemonium with 1,024 monkeys jumping around hooting and hollering.
Note: for the purposes of this article we will assume that reality meets mathematical probability 100% of the time.
Round 1: 512 monkeys jumping up and down because their coin came up heads. Round 2: 256 monkeys jumping. Round 3: 128 monkeys jumping. Round 4: 64 monkeys jumping. Round 5: 32 monkeys jumping. Round 6: 16 monkeys jumping. Round 7: 8 monkeys jumping. Round 8: 4 monkeys jumping. Round 9: 2 monkeys jumping. Round 10: Ding! Ding! Ding! One insanely happy monkey named Darren Bukket is jumping around. 1,023 other monkeys are gone and nobody even knows their names.
Darren Bukket has lasting fame and fortune in the monkey world. All monkeys want to be like Darren Bukket. Darren writes books and all the talking monkey heads interview him. Monkeys the world over learn the secret to coin flipping. Before every flip, you spit on the tails side of the coin. Then you put it on the floor heads up and jump up and down on the coin exactly 17 times while holding your monkey breath. Finally, you lay flat on your back on a mattress of monkey magnets, with the coin heads down on your forehead and visualize it always coming up heads. It is now ready for flipping.
This doesn’t seem to work for some monkeys and there is a lot of controversy. Darren Bukket explains how the cause is that these monkeys are failing to follow the correct monkey flipping technique he teaches.
Has your favorite guru found the secret key to the golden kingdom, or is he just the lucky last monkey jumping?
I thought about writing endless words analyzing all of this, but for once I decided to just be brief. Let me know if you like it.
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