The Best Ways to Not Sweat the Small Stuff – Part II

by Stephen Mills on August 23, 2009

Sweating the Small Stuff

This is the second article in a series of the best ways I’ve found to not sweat the small stuff and being happy with whatever I’ve got.  Here are the others:

The Best Ways To Not Sweat The Small Stuff – Part I

Don’t Be A Victim – Stop Blaming Others

You simply cannot attain peaceful well-being while blaming others for the situations in your life.  It’s not just about being a victim of the big stuff, most of us are victims of the small stuff.  Think about all the small things you blame others for at work or in your home.  The constant whining or griping you do about what others are doing is not helpful.  It’s small stuff and it makes you miserable.  You are draining yourself of your psychic energy.

Lighten Up

Are you wound up tight?  Is everything a crisis?  You wake up late – damn it. Your partner left a dirty dish in the sink – crap.  You’re daughter spilled her milk on her school blouse – @#$$%^&.  Your neighbor’s trash can rolled into your driveway – inconsiderate SOB.  Someone is driving slow in the left-hand lane – idiot.  And on and on it goes all day long.  Geez, lighten up and stop taking yourself so seriously.  What good does any of this do?  The world (nor your family) is going to conform to your wishes of how it should be.

Realize More is Not Better

If more was better the United States would be the happiest place on earth.  It’s not.

“A short cut to riches is to subtract from our desires.” — Francesco Petrarch

Mind Your Own Business

Don’t you have enough of your own alleged issues without needing to worry about other people?  I’m amazed at how much watching, criticizing, and gossiping about other people goes on all the time around me.  We seem intent on worrying as much about other peoples’ business as we do our own.  Cut a lot of negativity out of your life by just minding your own business.

Accept What Is

If the small stuff you fret about wasn’t there you would find something else to replace it.  Something would rush in to fill the void.  It’s not the small stuff, it’s you.  The small stuff will always be there and fighting it is a guaranteed loser.

Stop Being a Perfectionist

Not sweating the small stuff and being a perfectionist are mutually exclusive.  If you detect perfectionist tendencies in yourself, work on that first.  Otherwise you will be hopelessly sweating the small stuff for the rest of your life.

Shrink Your Ego

It’s not all about you.  You don’t need to prove yourself to everyone all the time.  You don’t need to offer an opinion on everything.  You don’t have to brag and show off.  Back off and relax while you observe and listen to others.  Stress will melt away.

Some People Aren’t Going To Like You

The day you stop trying to please others is the day you will take a giant step towards personal freedom.  Stop seeking validation and acceptance in others.  The issues they have in regard to you is their small stuff and you shouldn’t be worried about that.

Stop Being Grouchy

Grumbling and grouchiness is the best way you’ll ever find to sabotage your path to peaceful happiness.

Will This Matter in The Future?

Will it matter in one hour, tomorrow, next week, next month, or next year?  If not then it probably isn’t worth your sweat.

What do you think? Leave a comment below.

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{ 11 comments… read them below or add one }

Vin - NaturalBias August 23, 2009 at 7:31 pm

Even more great suggestions! Your victim post is one of my favorites! It’s impossible to improve yourself if you blame everything on other people!
.-= Vin – NaturalBias´s last blog ..FullBar: A Weight Loss Strategy That’s Full of Nonsense =-.

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Positively Present August 24, 2009 at 9:17 am

I loved Part I and Part II is excellent as well! I really love the concept of accepting what is. I think this is something can be life-changing if we really work on accepting things for what they are. All of these ideas are great!
.-= Positively Present´s last blog ..a letter to my older self =-.

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Patricia - Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker August 24, 2009 at 11:03 am

What a great way to live your life. It sounds easy. Some are and some I have struggled with for awhile. Being a perfectionist—giving it up has been a challenge. I sometimes find areas that I still do this. With awareness comes acceptance and then change. Have a glorious day.
.-= Patricia – Spiritual Journey Of A Lightworker´s last blog ..Back To School – Blog Carnival Against Child Abuse Is Posted =-.

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Vincent August 24, 2009 at 1:48 pm

Constantly poking our nose into others business is a sure way to get yourself frustrated. We can reduce our frustrations by half if we just mind our own business.

Cheers,
Vincent
.-= Vincent´s last blog ..50 Things Girls Hate About Guys =-.

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Jodi at Joy Discovered August 24, 2009 at 2:49 pm

Stephen, These are all great tips. I love your examples for each. It really is so funny how simple it is to live a good and happy life.
.-= Jodi at Joy Discovered´s last blog ..The Inner Voice vs. The Voice in Our Head =-.

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Karl Staib - Work Happy Now August 24, 2009 at 5:19 pm

I like how you said shrink your ego. I think too many people talk about getting rid of the ego (whole Buddhism thing). I think the ego is good for us. It helps us manage our time and focus.

If I didn’t have an ego I wouldn’t have started my blog. I would have thought that anyone is just as good at teaching work happiness. Why should I bother? If I thought I was the only one, that’s bad ego.

We need to believe in what we do and that we are so valuable that the world can’t live without our abilities. This is good ego.
.-= Karl Staib – Work Happy Now´s last blog ..10 Part eCourse to a Happier and More Successful You =-.

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Kaizan August 26, 2009 at 6:52 am

Great post.

You are so right, more is not better. We need that drummed into us every day!
.-= Kaizan´s last blog ..Never Regret Anything =-.

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Daphne @ Joyful Days August 26, 2009 at 9:19 am

Stephen,

“Some people aren’t going to like you” was hard for me because professionally and personally it’s important for me to be liked. Still, getting over this led to a major leap in happiness, so you’re right that this is certainly one point to consider. The other points are great too – I especially like “Accept what is.”
.-= Daphne @ Joyful Days´s last blog ..Are Enlightenment and Intimacy Compatible? =-.

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Dean Yeo August 27, 2009 at 7:29 pm

nice job on this article with some home truths for me…….especially the last one “will it matter in the future” is great to put in there to give it some perspective..
Many thanks and keep them coming
deanyeodotcom, twitter

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Dawn August 28, 2009 at 9:56 am

Blaming others and always looking for validation and acceptance were always my biggest problems. As soon as I stopped doing those two things my life and my attitude towards it suddenly became close to perfect. I’m happy, relaxed and realise that I have everything I need. I have a home, clean water, food, my health and a loving family. What more could anyone want? Thanks for a great post.

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Quin May 16, 2013 at 6:33 am

Wow, thank you! This is very helpful. I printed it and put it on the wall in my bedroom, to remind myself every morning.

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