I don’t claim these 7 simple principles are the principles for living the good life.  There are others that I reluctantly left out, but I chose these because they are simple and easy to understand.  I also wanted to limit the number of principles to seven, otherwise I would be violating principle number one.

Figuring out what actions need to be taken with these principles is not complicated.  Some of them are conceptually simple, but not necessarily easy to implement.  For example, eliminating draining people is a very simple concept.  It is easy to identify the people in your life that drain you and knowing what needs to be done as a next step is straightforward.  However, it requires courage and determination and for some of you, implementing it may be very uncomfortable.

1. Keep it Simple and Quick

   For some reason we tend to complicated everything.  If you want to go from point A to point B, travel in a straight line.  Don’t take any detours by adding unnecessary steps.  Life is not that complicated so why not try simple for a change?  You need to eat, sleep, love, express gratitude, and find meaning.  Pick the obvious, simple, or easy alternative and go for it.  Go with your gut and just enjoy the ride for a change.

2. Reduce Your Choices

   It may sound counterintuitive but the more choices you have the more unhappy you are.  Stop killing yourself with choices.

   Barry Schwartz calls it “the paradox of choice,”.  Facing many possibilities leaves us stressed out—and less satisfied with whatever we do decide. Having too many choices keeps us wondering about all the opportunities missed.

   When you seem to have too many alternatives to choose from, a good way to reduce the problem is to just reduce the time spent pondering the decision.  You want to lose weight and don’t know which diet is best?  Eat less.  Don’t know which outfit to wear?  Put on some damn clothes!  Want to see a movie?  Pick the first one that grabs your attention and head out the door.  Reduce your choices and stop wasting time making the simple complicated.  Stop fretting over the perfect decision and start living a little.

3. Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

   I believe this to be one of the most important attitude changes you can make.  When you don’t sweat the small stuff, you allow your mental energy to be available for the big stuff.  I’ve made a lot of progress in not sweating the small stuff and it has made all the difference in the world for me.

4. Identify the Essential and Eliminate the Rest

   This is the basic principle espoused by Leo Babauta.  It is simple in concept, but takes a lot of commitment to implement.  Most people don’t progress their lives the way they want to because they spend huge amounts of time on the non-essential.  You need to sit down and specifically identify what in your life is essential and then eliminate everything else.  You will tend to think everything you do is essential and nothing can be eliminated.  Don’t get caught in that trap.  What if you only had one month to live?  Would all that trivia be essential then?

5. Eliminate the Drain People

   For most of us, people taxes are more burdensome than government taxes.  It is something that is overlooked and taken as a given, but it doesn’t have to be that way.

   You have it within your power to eliminate from your life the people who drain your resources.  The debaters, the complainers, the victims, the angry, the rude, the needy, and those who think you are obligated to live your life for them should be eliminated.

   If you think you can’t eliminate them, at least reduce the tax you pay to them by limiting your interaction with them.  Most important of all you should set yourself free from manipulative relationships.

6. Living in the Present Moment

   So much has been written on this that I won’t spend a lot of words on it.  Here is a nice article from Psychology Today: Six Steps to Living in the Moment.

7. Be Fit and Healthy

   Some of you may believe that being fit and healthy is not that simple, but it is actually quite straightforward.  It may require intense commitment to habit change in order to implement, but it is most assuredly not complicated. Do short, intense, and interval type exercises like the PACE program (not an affiliate link).  Eat natural whole foods.  Eat a lot of raw fruits and vegetables for enzymes.  Eat fish, chicken, and grass fed beef.  Eat tons of green leafy and cruciferous vegetables.  Eat a variety of seeds and nuts.  Vin’s Natural Bias blog is an excellent resource for natural eating.  See how simple that was?

What do you think?  Leave a comment and join the conversation.

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I was rereading some of Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now today and I thought I would share a bit of it with you all.  I’ll issue my normal caveat that while I don’t agree with some of his more mystical ideas, he offers up a lot of powerful insights.

All of this fits into the living in the moment and victim articles I have published recently.

“What I call ordinary unconsciousness means being identified with your thought processes and emotions, your reactions, desires, and aversions.  It is most people’s normal state.  In that state, you are run by the egoic mind, and you are unaware of being. It is a state not of acute pain or unhappiness but of an almost continuous low level of unease, discontent, boredom, or nervousness – a kind of background static.”

I highlighted that last sentence because I think it is such an insightful observation about how the overwhelming majority of people live.

“You may not realize this because it is such a part of ‘normal’ living, just as you are not aware of a continuous hum of an air conditioner, until it stops.  When it suddenly does stop, there is a sense of relief.  Many people use alcohol, drugs, sex, food, work, television, or even shopping as anesthetics in an unconscious attempt to remove the basic unease.”

I think Tolle’s point about using those “escapes” is outstanding insight.  If you do those things then ask yourself why.

Because this background noise is so normal, it may not be easy to detect in yourself.  Here’s what you can do:

“Make it a habit to monitor your mental-emotional state through self-observation.  ‘Am I at ease at this moment?’ is a good question to ask yourself frequently.  Or you can ask ‘What is going on inside of my at this moment?’  Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside.  If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.”

The whole idea of observing your own thoughts is key to all of the.  Step outside of your mind and observe your mental state.

“Direct you attention inward.  Have a look inside yourself.  What kind of thoughts is your mind producing?  What do you feel?  Direct your attention into the body.  Is there any tension?  Once you detect that there is a low level of unease, the background static, see in what way you are avoiding, resisting, or denying life – by denying the Now.”

Do you resent some person or thing?  Are you unhappy with your job or your partner?

“Do you realize that the energy you thus emanate is so harmful in its effects that you are in fact contaminating yourself as well as those around you? … Do you have a choice?”

And then the best answer that I have ever seen:

“Maybe you are being taken advantage of, maybe the activity you are engaged in is tedious, maybe someone close to you is dishonest, irritating, or unconscious, but all of that is irrelevant.  The fact is that your are resisting what is.  You are making the present moment into an enemy.  You are creating unhappiness, conflict between the inner and outer.”

That paragraph above contains the essence of the whole matter in my opinion.  Are you going to clean up the mess?

“Either stop doing what you are doing, speak to the person concerned and express fully what you feel, or drop the negativity that your mind has created around the situation…  Anything that is done with negative energy will become contaminated by it and in time give rise to more pain, more unhappiness.”

“You are responsible for your inner space; nobody else is…”

Notice I highlighted the word “you” in the passages above.  It’s all about your own responsibility for your own inner state.  It’s not about anything external to you.

“How do you drop a piece of hot coal that you are holding in your hand?  How do you drop some heavy and useless baggage that you are carrying?  By recognizing that you don’t want to suffer the pain or carry the burden anymore and then letting go of it.”

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What do you think?  Leave a comment below.

In this article, I will provide practical advice on how to live in the now, to be present.  I’m not at a point where I do this anywhere near what I believe it takes to really experience life, but I started near zero so any improvement is huge for me.  Let us know by commenting where you are at and what practical advice you can share with the rest of us.  There are a lot of good articles on the net for practical advice on being present and I will link you to some of them.  If any of you have written articles on how to be in the now, give me a link in the comments and I will add it to the resources section.

This article is the third in the series.  The first two are here and you need to read them before proceeding:

Living Now – Part I
Living Now – Part II

Change Your Environment

This is a not what I would call real practical much of the time, but as Jonathan pointed out in a comment to Living Now – Part II Comments, it has some powerful effect.  So if you are particularly time-bound, stressed out, irritated, overwhelmed, or any other tense state and need to make a more drastic move consider one of these ideas as therapy:

• Mountains
• Beach
• River
• Lake
• Forest

Stop Thinking

This one is tough for many of us, but it is the key.  When I say stop thinking, I’m talking about the kind past or future thinking that gets us into trouble.  These are either reliving the recent or distant past or imagining future outcomes.  Much of the latter is cast in a negative light and is what is otherwise known as worry.  If you are in conversation with yourself, if you have a mental chatter going on, you are not in the now.  I’m very familiar with the problems with too much thinking and internal chatter.  This is what my whole life has been like and it is where I struggle most.

You may believe that if you are thinking or chattering about your current situation, then that is being present.  It is not.  You are often judging your current moment with a view of the past.  If you are judging and commenting on your present, you are not present.  Your mind-talk is very often your worst enemy.  If you are going to listen to the voice in your head, listen as an observer.  Listen impartially and without judgment.  That’s not very easy to do and you have to work at it hard to make it a habit.

Your Past is Dead

Forget the past.  It is almost always a hindrance.  In my opinion the best use of the past is to draw on memories to produce emotional states that are good for you.  Otherwise, leave the dead past where it belongs – buried and forgotten.  It hurts you far more than it helps you.  If you must occasionally draw upon it to learn a lesson then fine.  Go there only occasionally and briefly and then get right back to the present moment.

Remembering special times in the past, times you had with your children for example (I do it), may be great therapy if used occasionally.  However, it is living in your past and does nothing to help your present or future.  It takes away from actually living now.  That may be emotionally hard to accept, but I think if you really consider it carefully, you will see the point.  You often are juxtaposing something wonderful in your past with something not so wonderful in your present.  Sorry my friends, but that is negative thinking whether you are aware you are doing it or not.

What are complaining and bitching all about?  They are about the past.  When you are angry, mad, irritated, stressed, or most any other negative emotion, it is very often linked to the past.  That past may be five minutes ago, but you must internalize and accept that five minutes ago is still the past.  It’s gone.  You won’t get it back.  Don’t let it ruin your present.

Set Aside a Specific Time for Future Thinking and Planning

Many personal development and  time management advisers suggest setting aside a specific time each day and week for planning.  I’m a big believer in setting aside time each morning to come up with your MIT’s for the day and to visualize your future state.  Then for the rest of your day, just execute and be present.  Live in the now and drop the constant planning and dreaming.  For bigger goals and projects you can set aside weekly or monthly sessions.

I used to struggle a lot and still do to some degree with 1,000 mph future thinking.  Driving, showering, walking, eating, trying to sleep, and even reading were times where my mind was racing ahead to the future:  planning, rehearsing, and imagining.  I missed almost all of the present experience of living.  Shut it down.

Paying Attention to Movement

This is one of the very best ways to be present in the now.  Whenever you are moving, focus on the movement itself.  If you are walking up or down stairs, just plain walking, exercising, showering, washing your hands, or any other type of movement, focus on the movement itself.  Feel the muscles, tendons, joints, and bones as they move in harmony.  Aside from the tremendous value in keeping you present, there are huge benefits for your brain and long term functional skills from paying attention to your movements.  Do you want to be vital now and in your old-age?  See my article on movement With Attention for more information.

Don’t Be a Drama Queen

Drama is conflict and pain.  Things are what they are.  Stop telling the world about your problems.  Stop the “woe is me” attitude.  If you are talking about your problems aside from a therapeutic setting, you are reliving and intensifying something negative.  You are talking instead of doing.  I know this may be hard for you to accept, but I honestly believe that the more you talk about, think about, or focus on drama, the more drama you will get.  Also to be quite frank, nobody that should matter to you wants to hear it anyway.

Stop Labeling

Do you find yourself saying things like “This sucks.”  “This is bad.”  “I hate this.”  “I’m pissed.”  “She drives me nuts.”?  Labeling a situation is focusing on the negative.  That framing creates the pain and unhappiness in your life.  Is the present moment unpleasant?  Maybe so, but stop labeling it as such.  Accept it and act on it without labeling it.

Whatever the present moment contains, accept it as if you had chosen it.  Always work with it, not against it.  Make it your friend and ally, not your enemy.  This will miraculously change your whole life.  –Eckhart Tolle

Three Simple Choices

None of this means you should be helpless in the face of challenges.  Do not interpret any of this to mean non-action on your part.  When you really understand what this means, you will understand that accepting something that simply is, actually allows you to act to change it.

You have three choices in an unpleasant or distressful current moment.

• Remove yourself from the situation
• Change the situation
• Totally accept the situation

If you can’t or won’t do one of the first two, then just do the third.  I know this sounds simplistic, but it really is that simple.  When I was behind the million year-old driver led line of cars, and I couldn’t change it, I basically had two choices.  Pull over and stop (remove myself from the situation) or just get into the drive and enjoy it (totally accept the situation).  Staying frustrated and tense does nothing but create pain and unhappiness.

Resources

The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment is a very good resource.  I don’t agree with much of his general philosophical position, but his practical advice is excellent.

Six Steps to Living in the Moment
Being in the Moment
How to Live in the Moment

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What do you think?  Leave a comment below.

This series of articles may say some things to you that you’ve never thought about before.  If so, then welcome to something really special!  I suspect many of you will find what is said here to be something you’ve heard before and might even agree with on an intellectual level.

Here are the other parts to the series:

Living Now – Part II
Live Now – Part III

Whether this is new to your or not, this series of articles is a plea to you to do more than just accept these ideas intellectually.  Whenever I hear these ideas, I say to myself something like “That’s great; I’m going to really do it.”  Maybe I do for a bit, but I usually find myself slipping back into old habits that seem to never die.  I know these ideas work because I have experienced something wonderful when I practice them.  The problem is I seem to never fully internalize them and keep it going.

This stuff is hard because it is not natural to people who live in our modern world.  I’m willing to bet that most of you who think you live in the now much of the time, really don’t.  You only think you do because you are not aware most of the time.  You mind is churning away and you don’t realize it.

As a non-stop thinker, I originally found these ideas impossible to believe.  Eventually I suspended my disbelief and gave them a try.  That may have been the best decision I’ve ever made.

You will see extensive quoting of Eckhart Tolle in what follows.  I don’t agree with everything he says especially when he gets really philosophical.  However, regardless of what he actually believes, his practical advice is unsurpassed in my opinion.

Your Mind is a Tool.  It is Not You

Your mind is an instrument, a tool.  It is there to be used for a specific task, and when that task is completed, you lay it down.  –Eckhart Tolle

Sentences like that used to have me screaming “Bullshit!”, but not anymore.  Lay it down?  You have to understand what that really means.

As it is, I would say 80% to 90% of most people’s thinking is not only repetitive and useless, but because of its dysfunctional and often negative nature, much of it is also harmful.  … It causes a serious leakage of vital energy.  –Eckhart Tolle

If you get caught up in non-stop thinking you will go mad in a way.  I’ve spent most of my life in that condition.  You will find that no matter what your intent, if you constantly think, you will dwell on the past, worry about the future, and quite simply forget to actually live; really live.  You will do exactly what Tolle says and think repetitive and useless or harmful thoughts.  This will happen automatically no matter what your intent.  That bold phrase is the key.  I can’t prove it to you, but it’s simply the way your mind works.

One of the keys of cognitive therapy is to recognize that you are not your thoughts.  They are nothing more than thoughts that you can observe and choose to put aside.  You are not your thoughts and therefore you are not your mind.

We all need to start using our mind as a tool for our practical decisions, when it is required, and then lay it down.  The rest of the time we need to experience the now and really live.  I can’t believe I’m saying that because it is so not what I would have called “me” for the last 47 years.  But it works in a way that you have to experience to believe and so I suggest you try it.  If you accept it intellectually, then commit to really internalizing and living that way.  I am committing to do so.

Yes, we need the mind as well as time to function in this world, but there comes a point where they take over our lives, and this is where dysfunction, pain, and sorrow set in.  –Eckhart Tolle

The Present Moment, the Now is the Key

Your life will change to the degree you start living in the present moment.  No matter what situation you find yourself in, notice how constantly sitting in judgment of the situation creates pain and unhappiness?

Are you stuck behind rude people who drive the same speed across multiple lanes and trap you?  This seems to happen to me all the time and is a source of unending irritation.  I judge them to be idiots and rude and create anger and unhappiness for myself.  Did it change the situation?  No.  This is insanity.  I could actually be enjoying the drive, enjoying my life, and living in the now.  This is an example where thinking is repetitive, useless, or just plain harmful.  Yet it is something most of us do whether we are aware of it or not.

Notice all the things you think about that make you unhappy.  You complain about people in general, your health, the government, your neighbor, your co-workers, or anything else about your life situation.  When you do that, you are living in a past that is already over and done with.  You don’t get a do-over.  You are not learning from it when you complain about it.  You are reliving it and prolonging the pain.  You are polluting those around you as well.

Time is mostly an illusion.  The past is a memory happening in the now and the future is a projection of the now into a possible future.  Nothing happens except in the present.  When you are not living in the now, you are trapped in a memory or in an anticipation.

… the Now.  That is precious indeed.  The more you are focused on time – past and future – the more you miss the now, the most precious thing there is.

So break the old pattern of present-moment denial and present-moment resistance.  Make it your practice to withdraw your attention from past and future when they are not needed.  Step outside of the time dimension as much as possible in everyday life.

This does not impair your ability to use time – past or future – when you need to refer to it for practical matters.  Nor does it impair your ability to use your mind.  In fact it enhances it.  When you do use your mind, it will be sharper, more focused

–Eckhart Tolle

If you can really internalize and practice the above, you will discover something life changing.  I’ve done it briefly and then forgot about it as my old habits reemerge.  To be life changing you can’t just do this occasionally.  It needs to be your normal state with only occasional visits to the past and to the future.  Let it go and really live.

To be continued…

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