There seems to be a lot of confusion about how you can have an attitude of acceptance of your current situation, being thankful for what you have, maintaining perspective, etc. and at the same time continuing to strive for growth and improvement.  I previously wrote about this in an article about contentment.  For whatever reason though some people continue to struggle with it.  I’ll try to clarify my thoughts in this article with some other ideas.

For me personally, this is no longer a problem.  My current situation includes my intentions, ideas, and plans.  They are all part of my now.  They are part of my current situation and so when I accept what is, I am accepting the fact that I intend to or may even be in the process of growing and changing.   If I have a new idea tomorrow then that new idea becomes part of tomorrow’s now.

You can be thankful for the fact that you have a job.  You can be doing an extraordinary job at whatever it is you do.  You can live in the moment while realizing that each moment is a step to the next moment.  You can maintain perspective and even consider yourself lucky that you are better off than most.

You can do all of this while at the same time looking to improve yourself and grow in every way you can.  You can strive to live each day more than you lived the last while being happy and at peace with what is during each of those days.  You can be totally happy now and at the same time strive towards more dreams in your future.

I admit I used to struggle with this.  I was never happy with the present.  I was always looking for something better and of course if there was something better out there, I couldn’t be satisfied with what I already had.  They key is to disconnect the situations you find yourself in each moment from how you feel about your life.  Disconnect results and conditions from how you think about your life.  You can do it and if want to find lasting peace and happiness you have to do it.  No matter what you achieve, it will never be enough.  Your threshold for happiness will just shift.  The target will move as you move.

If you don’t equate a particular result or condition to happiness, you won’t have any problem.  There is no conflict here.  When tomorrow doesn’t turn out the way you wanted it to turn out, you don’t have to stress about it, have a breakdown, lose your self-esteem, or anything else.  It’s just another day with another set of circumstances that make up your life in that now.

The other day I published the article Mavis Karn’s Secret.  The whole point of that article is that your thoughts and your thoughts alone determine how you feel.  It’s not external circumstances, it’s your thinking about those circumstances that make you feel stressed, depressed, unhappy, or whatever.  Eckhart Tolle says very well:

“Maybe you are being taken advantage of, maybe the activity you are engaged in is tedious, maybe someone close to you is dishonest, irritating, or unconscious, but all of that is irrelevant.  The fact is that your are resisting what is.  You are making the present moment into an enemy.  You are creating unhappiness, conflict between the inner and outer.”

Richard Carlson says that becoming aware of your thinking is the most powerful and practical mental tool in your toolbox.  I think I have to agree.  You can get there and I know you can because I did it.

What do you think? Leave a comment below.

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Being happy with what you have, while at the same time striving to be better or make things better is, I think, at the heart of being content.  Contentment is a component of the feeling of serenity and peace that I wrote about in Well-Being is Better Than Happiness, but I didn’t really think about it at the time I wrote that article.

So how do you get to the point of being content, of being happy with your situation in life?  What if you are not happy with your situation right now?  If you are taking action to change something you don’t like, you can be content knowing you are making a change!

Think about that for a moment.  You may not be where you want to be, but you can be content knowing that you are on your way.  In a very key respect you will never be where you want to be.  There will always be something  more.  That’s what life and growth is all about.  If you wait until you arrive at the always receding target, guess what?  You’ll be waiting forever.  You’ll never be satisfied and you’ll never be content because you never reach that final place. That’s just a wrong-headed way of looking at life.

A much better way is to be at peace with what you are doing now to change what you want and need to change.  Then you can be happy with where you are going and be content with your life as it is now.  What powerful and positive perspective through which to view your life in the present moment!

I have decided to be content with what I have now.  You can do the same.  Part of what I have now are the ideas actions I am taking to change and grow.  By consciously including them in the total view of my life situation I can be content right now.

I definitely have goals and things I want to accomplish.  I think growing through striving towards goals is a very important part of the good life, but the attainment of those goals is not the point.  The self-acceptance gained through the effort and the resulting growth is the point.  When you have that, you have gone a long ways towards contentment regardless of your current life situation now or in the future.

Our happiness, well-being, contentment, satisfaction, peace, or whatever else you want to call these states of mind, is primarily driven from within.  They come from the attitudes and perspectives we bring to our life situation.  Those attitudes and perspectives are completely within our control and so then are all those wonderful states of mind that we so badly want to achieve.

Some ways to enhance your contentment

Discover what you want to change and begin to change them.

This has been written about with billions and billions of words.  I think it needs no further comment.

Take an inventory of your blessings now.

You certainly have some or you wouldn’t be able to read this article written by someone who lives thousands of miles away and whom you will probably never meet.

Look for something good and beautiful in everything you do and experience.

Stop and smell the roses.

Simplify

It is so much easier to be content when you have less, are doing less, want less, and see less.  So declutter and simplify your spaces and your mind.

Experience nature

I say this so much it is probably is starting to sound like a broken record, but it is critical.  If you can’t get outside then go for a nature walk virtually: http://www.peacefulwalks.com/

Be Present

The billions and billions of words comments again, but at least read my articles

Living Now – Part I
Living Now – Part II
Live Now – Part III
More About Living in the Now
Are You Addicted to Speed?

Here’s to your contentment!

Get Free Updates to The Rat Race Trap by Email here or via a reader in the top left sidebar.  I would love to have you on board.

What do you think?  Leave a comment below.