“Time is limited, so I better wake up every morning fresh and know that I have just one chance to live this particular day right, and to string my days together into a life of action, and purpose.” — Lance Armstrong
Time does not run backwards. You do not get a do-over. Please do not waste another minute with toxic or manipulative people. When you are lying on your deathbed, it is highly unlikely you will say “Boy I’m so glad I wasted my precious life putting up with all the drama and crap in my relationships.”
“Enjoy yourself. It’s later than you think.” — Chinese Proverb
If you had just one day left how would you spend it? Would you waste it putting up with the drama? Look at it this way. What you have left is nothing but a series of single days and you don’t know when one of them will be the last. Make them all worthwhile.
“Every second is of infinite value.” — Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Relationships are ideal tools for master manipulators. The manipulators are all around you and they are likely controlling you in ways you are not even aware. You do not have to put up with it, no matter who they are. You may think you have no choice, say in the case of a controlling parent, but you do.
Most of the time close family or friends will accept your new relationship rules if you simply insist upon them. They may throw a temper tantrum from hell, but humans are adaptable and they will usually adapt. They can take the new you or leave the new you. They will usually accept the new you.
“The soul that is within me no man can degrade.” — Fredrick Douglas
You do not need the constant and useless drama. There are billions of people out there that you can choose from. Life throws so many curveballs at you that you have little control over, please don’t waste valuable coping capital on toxic or manipulative relationships. If you do, then you are responsible. You are enabling and feeding the sickness. You had it within your power to make a difference and you did nothing.
“There is just one life for each of us: our own.” — Unknown
Think about what you are doing to your healthy relationships by putting up with your toxic relationships? Realize that every time you accept poison from one relationship, you are actually degrading your other healthy relationships. Whatever harms you harms those you love. When a parent or a lover or friend is taking something vital from your life, you are allowing them to take something from others you love. Think about that the next time you look at your child or lover.
“Don’t ever save anything for a special occasion. Being alive is the special occasion.” — Unknown
Manipulators have a story and it’s usually a sad one. They play on your sympathy. This is especially true of family members. They want you to feel sorry for them so you will regularly do their bidding. You might be so used to complying that you do it automatically without even thinking about it. You might not even realize it. You do not owe anybody anything except to yourself. You owe yourself your best damn effort at a fulfilling life.
“Now is a gift and that’s why it’s called the present.” — Unknown
In order to stop the manipulation, you need to stop trying to change the manipulative person. You might as well beat your head against a brick wall. The only effective tactic is to change yourself. Refuse to be manipulated. Force the manipulative person to deal with you on healthy terms. Refuse to accommodate their demands.
At that point they will have a choice: engage you in a healthy way or go elsewhere. It’s their choice. Your choice was to choose to no longer be a victim to their manipulation and control. Your choice was to be free.
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” –Chinese Proverb
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