Find Happiness Outside the Rat Race – Part 3

by Stephen Mills on February 5, 2009



his post marks the conclusion of the series and will help you understand why it is so important you discover your core needs and find that happiness you deserve. Consider the following.  Suppose one of your core needs is alone time.  That wouldn’t be surprising because I think it is a need for many people.  However you simply don’t have enough alone time for everything and your alone time is the easiest thing to give up.  You are a mother, a career woman, a wife, and a community volunteer.  There is no way you would spend less time with your children in order to have more time alone.  Is that really a good decision?  I believe it is not.  Far more important than the quantity of time you spend with your family is the quality of that time.  Running around tired, stressed, impatient, cranky, or whatever is not what your family needs.

Whatever you give up in core needs, makes you less of who you really are and could be.  Your children will remember a mother who was not filled with the joy of life, with the calm and loving manner, and with the fulfilled life that should should have been.  You are giving your children something less and not something more by sacrificing a core need.

The same thing applies to your role as partner, and employee, a friend, or any other role you have.  You are giving all of that less, because you gave yourself less.


ou may also discover that you have one or more core needs that you are not proud to have.  It does no good to stick your head in the sand and pretend like they do not exist.  It is likely the reason you are not happy with having that core need is due to the fact that the means and structures by which you have been fulfilling it are not things you are proud to have done.  What you need to do, and what this method allows you to do, is to find other more acceptable to you ways to fulfill that need.  Do not deny or repress something that exists.  It will come out in ways that you will find harmful.  You need to accept it and find other outlets to fulfill it.


f you have not read the first and second parts of How to Find Happiness Outside the Rat Race please do so.  As indicated in the previous posts in this series, the method presented is based upon Richard Brodie’s  Getting Past Ok: A Straightforward Guide to Having a Fantastic Life. I highly recommend this $10 book.  If you apply what you have learned you can make a enormous change for the better for yourself and everyone connected to you.  This type of improvement is easy to ignore.  There is always something that is more urgent.  But ask yourself, what could be more important?

Please comment and let me know if I can help you in any way.

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Mike King February 18, 2009 at 8:14 am

Really enjoyed the series and stumbled it for you. I was surprised to see the comments closed on the first 2 articles. None the less, thansk for the articles, very well organized and written!


Stephen - Rat Race Trap February 18, 2009 at 11:09 am

Thanks Mike! I believe I have it set to automatically close comments after two weeks but I’ll fix that. Glad you enjoyed it.


fahrrad March 7, 2009 at 12:55 am

Dies ist ein gro


Stephen - Rat Race Trap March 7, 2009 at 7:18 am

fahrrad, Thank you very much. Glad you enjoyed it!


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