Most of us, myself included, have put on a phony face at one time or another. Some do it every day at work, out with friends, on a date, at a social event, or even writing a blog post. Why do we do this and what are the consequences? We are under some misguided belief that hiding certain parts of who we are will lead others to accept us more readily. We believe that if we wear that socially acceptable mask, that somehow we will be happier.
Hiding Yourself Leads to Incompatible Relationships
If you hide your true self when you are dating or in other social situations, how are you ever going to find your soul mate? If you pretend to like a certain kind of music, support a particular political philosophy, enjoy wine and cheese when you really want beer and a pizza, you are guilty of false advertising. You are going to get a mate who bought Pinot Noir and woke up one day with with a Budweiser. She may barf it up in disgust.
You need to advertise your core self at all times and if you don’t that person who is looking for you will walk right past you and never notice. That’s going to really suck isn’t it? It may have happened to you already. It is a great big world out there and thanks to the Internet and other modern technology, that world is open to you. You don’t have to impress the neighbor boy or girl anymore. You need friends and lovers but you don’t need any particular friend or lover. You need business associates but you don’t need any particular business associate. Don’t throw away the chance for true happiness up by hiding your true self from those who are desperately searching for that unique person that can be found in you.
Doing Business with You
This is true of business relationships as well. If you pretend to be Christian to court a partnership with a Christian, hell-fire and brimstone may one day rain down upon your business. You’ll be watching the smoldering heap and wondering how it ever happened. Everything said in the personal section above applies to business relationships as well. Your long-lasting and quality business relationships are going to be with partners who aren’t offended by who or what you are.
The Human B.S. Detector
Aside from all that, people are pretty good at sniffing out phonies. They may not know exactly what part of you is the source of the odor, but their B.S. detector is most likely going off when they are around you. If you think about it you will realize that you see it in other people. Why do you expect they wouldn’t see it in you? If you want to gain the trust that is crucial to both personal and professional happiness and success, you need to display your authentic self at all times. Those who don’t like it can go somewhere else. You don’t want them in your life anyway.
The appeal of the Unique
I admit it. I’m a very strange person. People love me or hate me. There are plenty that love me so I couldn’t care less about the others. They can go somewhere else. When you act like everyone else you have a lot of competition. You are just another gray mass floating in a sea of gray. To be noticed you have to display that which is uniquely you. Many years ago a wise man named Harry Browne wrote that you have a natural monopoly over yourself. You have zero competition in the market for you. Advertise it with pride.